One of the most interesting social phenomena is the use of the editorial “We.” It pops up everywhere, like: “We think the stock market is going to crash,” Or: “That’s not how we do things.”

Who is “We”?

Let’s start simple.

“We” is a group, gathered together for some reason—either like penguins to stay out of the cold, or like sharks to hunt and avoid starving to death, or like Geese who fly together thousands of miles roundtrip so they don’t get lost or lonely (how could they with all that honking?).

Why do humans pick groups?

Sociologically, we all are horrified of being alone and we lack the self-defining capabilities of deity, so we look for others who are like us to make us both feel like we matter, and help shape and define us into a molded structure. (This begins in our coming-of-age period in adolescence and sometimes never ends, but more on that later.)

Theologically, we know we will die one day, so we band together in groups and share religious beliefs and rituals, and convince each other that we are going to escape death in the afterlife.

The sad reality is that not all groups are right.

They can’t be.

Up can’t be down, and sideways can’t be straight.

So just because you are in a community doesn’t mean you can’t all walk straight off the cliff together—even if you’re following someone as passionate as Jim Jones.

Some communities are formed over politics. We band together with those we agree with and call them “insiders,” and we cast those we disagree with out and call them “outsiders.”

Listen, the church is awesome at this.

That is why the word “cult” was first used to describe a church.1

“Cult” was once defined by Hugh Rawson as, “An organized group of people, religious or not, with whom you disagree,” because we like using the word in a derogatory way (never assuming that maybe it is us who are in the cult!).

But anytime we start to draw lines and form boundaries between “us” and “them”, we are falling into a cult-like mindset.

Here’s an example: there is a cult of coolness that has been building for decades and is very, very confusing for middle- and high-schoolers. “To be ‘cool’ is to know but pretend like you don’t, to be an insider and an outsider all at once. It also means to enjoy yourself, but not too much. To be different, but not too different. It takes a lot more work to be cool than one can ever let on.”2

Who is your “we”? The cool crowd, the smart crowd, the suit-wearing “successful” crowd, or the non-suit-wearing big-truck-driving crowd?

We have a lot socially to figure out, even as adults.

Tack onto that our other communities: we have a “we” surrounding our political opinions, a “we” for our theological beliefs, our hobbies and pastimes, our neighborhoods and the locations of our vacations: are you in the cult of Disney or not, if so you’ll have the annual pass holder bumper sticker, etc. etc. etc.

What if we change the conversation?

What if we redefine “community” in a narrower sense.

A true God-honest community is a group of people who are all asking the same kinds of questions—regardless of whether or not you have stuff in common. It’s an honest group who don’t judge based on similarities of hobbies or beliefs or pastimes but on the intensity of the passion to honestly find answers and do good.

Communities are people bonded together not so much over who they are as much as who they are trying to become.

Einstein said, “what is right is not always popular, and what is popular is not always right.”

It’s popular to form cults, but it’s right to form communities.

Let’s do it, and, by the way, let’s make it beautiful while “we” are at it, huh?

1 https://www.etymonline.com/word/cult#etymonline_v_450

2 https://medium.com/the-bts-effect/the-epiphany-leaving-the-cult-of-coolness-to-find-something-much-cooler-contest-finalist-c42960f149be